Things the Littles Say...

Happy Monday!

I haven't done one of these posts in a while because of the business of life, but the kids are still hilarious... Here are some of the recent highlights of my sweet, unfiltered children. 

Nathan: 

N: Take a look Mom, I did my Christmas list.

M: Ok, thanks Nate
N: The background is red and I used red marker so look carefully...

THIS is what he handed me, ya'll...Thank you Target.

Note how he crossed out the title and wrote "Chrismas list"

N: My project is on the life cycle of the praying mantis...
I: Is that the SCIENTIST?! (Isabelle's interpretation of praying mantis)

N: That is fascinating!

I: Look at my bump! (points to birthmark)
N: (nonchalantly) Mom is a hospital worker. She can look at it. That's even better.

His love for football is unwavering despite my best efforts...

In reference to our Thanksgiving gathering...
D: We are having some people over for dinner, Nate,  so you have to clean up
N: Who is coming? Are we getting an inflatable? (this child asked if we were having a BOUNCE HOUSE on Thanksgiving...I can't)

(Isabelle starts crying and Nate picks her up)
N: I can lift up my sister because I have been doing Focus T25...

(At EVERY. SINGLE. football game we went to for his uncle)
N: Can we go on the field?

(Saturday when Michigan was losing)
N: I wish I was able to play for Michigan and we would be able to win...

(Isabelle crying at the top of her lungs)
M: Nate, what happened?
N: I was walking and she was hanging on to me and just fell... (I'm sure thats exactly how it went down)

Oh and Nate still calls a  "blanket" a "blanquet" I think its so cute I refuse to correct him.

  Isabelle:

I: (crying then sees tablet on the headboard and instantly stops crying) I want tablet.
Nate: No, Isabelle, you can't have any more table today
I: (very matter of factly) If you're not crying you can...

I: Mom, come sit beside me!

I: Mommy! You're the best. I love you so much... :swoon:

M: Did you have a good sleep?
I: Yes!
M: Did you have a good dream?
I: :Nods with a smile:
M: What did you dream about?
I: Jesus!

I: I'm boring! (meaning: I'm bored)

I: It's hot "wava" Nate! :jumps from the ottoman to the couch:

I: Mom! I thought you were at work! Come sit next to me!

I: These pajamas are too small
M: How do you know?
I: Let me look at the tag
M: What size are you?
I: I'm a tree! (three)

I: (After she puts on my sunglasses and pool pass) Look Mom! I'm smart and pretty like you!

And can we talk about how sweet my kids are on skates?! They didn't get this from me LOL




Hope this brings a smile to your Monday!

xo

Things the Littles Say....

Showing off his "Adventures of Jake" book series he authored

Happy Fridayyy!

You know what that means....I'm done with nights until I'm a chief!!!

I haven't done a post on the hilarious and cute things the kids have been doing, so here we go...

Nate -

Still calls a blanket a "blanquet". He was trying to calm Isabelle down on the way home in the middle of a tantrum when she thought we left her favorite blanket at school...
"It's ok Isabelle, when you get home I'll find your blanquet. How would you like it if someone took your blanquet by accident?"

Randomly, on the way home from school... "Mom, who was your first boyfriend before dad..." -_-

His favorite spot to eat is "Chic-fa-lay"

While I was on nights, the hubs put the kids in bed a little earlier. It was like 7:40 and their bedtime was 8:30...
Little Nate: "Isn't 7 smaller than 8? Does the clock go up or down? Our bedtime is 8:30 and it's 7:40..."
You want your kids to learn things like telling time, but I mean....

Her hair!! 

Yesterday was the end of the year poetry presentation at his school. He didn't tell us that he was presenting a poem about his sister. It was so sweet.





Isabelle -

Her favorite place to eat is "Chik-Delay"

When I came to the Mother's Day tea and surprised her at daycare, "Mommy, you scared me!" (she means surprised)

"Mommy, you're my best friend!"

"Mommy, do I make you so happy?" Usually this happens after she uses the potty. Yay Izza!

My sweet girl

Me: Isabelle, do not open the door for strangers.
Isabelle: (crying) Why, I not open the door?!
Me: Because it could be a bad guy...
Isabelle: (serious) I open the door and I get my sword?

She's becoming quite the fashionista:
"I like your hair."
"I like your shirt."
"I like your glasses."

EVERY night before bed: "Can I have a kiss and a hug and a butterfly kiss and a nuzzle nose?"

"I want mommy to give me a kiss and a hug and a butterfly kiss and a nuzzle nose when she is done with the work. When she is done helping the people..."

Things the Littles Say...

I've been keeping these on my phone since we moved to North Carolina...Isabelle is an abundance of the cutest little toddler imagination and language fumbles. Naters is an abundance of big kid hilarity mixed with LOTS of throwing shade. Hope these bring a smile to your afternoon...

Nate

Any time we are watching sports: Which team are you "counting" for?


Every night, at bedtime: Can you walk me to my bed?

After questioning him as to why his sister was crying: 
Me: What happened? 
Nate (whispering): Sin 'temptated' me.
Me: What? I don't understand. 
Nate: Sin "temptated" me.
Me: Nate I don't know what that means. 
Nate: Sin "temptated" me and I hit my sister. 
Me: Sin tempted you? 
Nate: (bows head) Yes. 

TV narrator: King Nebuchadnezzar...
Nate: King Nebuchadnezzar?! I know him! That's like Neeshak, Shadrak, and Ibendigo! (There was a very extensive Bible curriculum in Kindergarten...)

My bear's name is Jackie McDowell Johnson.

After he received his new watch: Mom, it's 11:03...Mom, it's 11:04...

After saying something in an attempt to be sarcastic: That's sarcasm in case you didn't know. 

After a play date at his friend's house with a lovely home, this kid keeps dropping hints that we need a bigger house. One day, while walking the aisles of Home Depot with his dad:
Nate: I'm not sure if I want to spend my money on a new toy or buy a house with four floors. 
Dad: Well, Mommy and Daddy are working hard so one day we can have a nicer house. 
Nate: Maybe you guys should save more dad. You know you can't save if you buy that stuff... :points to cart:
- ___- 


One weekend, I discovered Jane the Virgin on Netflix. 
Nate: Mom, what are you watching? 
Me: Jane. 
Nate: What is the rest of the name? 
Me: .... :quick subject change: (Don't judge me. I wasn't in the mood to discuss what a "virgin" was to my six year old)

Isabelle

Multiple times per day: No Nate! Nate's bothering me!

Hi Mommy/Daddy! How was your work? 

Good Morning! How was your sleep? 

When she is telling one of us not to do something: Do not! Dooo not! Do not eat my food. 

When we were trying to get her to stay in her bed at night she would whisper "Lay down" which meant she wanted us to lay on her floor until she fell asleep. -_-

She is great at encouraging everyone, including herself: 
Yay Isabelle! Good job Isabelle!

When family games get a little out of hand: Time out! Everybody slow down!

Me: Do you need help? 
Isabelle: I got it Mommy. I got it. 

One night at dinner when Nate was pouring his own ketchup. He didn't even have any out yet: 
No, Nate! That’s enough!

One day at Target with Daddy, as they were walking by the lingerie section, Isabelle points to a bra and says: Daddy, Mommy likes these!

Me: Isabelle, why did you take off your baby's clothes? 
Isabelle (yelling and clearly annoyed by my questions): Because baby hot!

Me: What are your babies' names? 
Isabelle: Baby Wow and Baby Mommy. 

Things Little Nate Says: 4 Years-Old Edition; Volume 1

Eating PB&J like a boss...

This post is long overdue. I'm sure I am biased, but this kid gets funnier as he gets older. Here are some of the hilarious things Natey is doing and saying these days...

The very first thing he says as he's walking into before-care at school a few weeks ago (for the first time since Christmas break):
"Guess what? I'm four now and I'm going to get a brother and a sister and a dog...well, a dog after we move into a bigger house..."


Natey: "What are you eating?"
Me: "A salad, want some?"
Natey: "No, no thank you for that..."


"I missed you so much :big hug: So how was your day mommy/daddy?"

"Is your baby sleeping? Can I talk to your baby?"

"Is my baby awake?"

Natey: "Where's daddy?"
Me: "He went to Sam's Club."
Natey: "He went without me?!"

Natey: "How old do you have to be to be a grown up?"
Me: "18 years old"
Natey: "No, I think you need to be a thousand..."

"I want to name the baby Ellie." (he keeps referring to his little sibling as a girl)

Natey: "Can your baby come out?"
Me: "Well the doctors are going to help mommy get the baby out this summer"
Natey: "Are you going to open your mouth like this? AHHHHH!"

My husband's mom came to take care of Nate when he had a short break from school. Natey hadn't seen her yet since she arrived when he was sleeping. In the morning when his dad was getting ready for work, I guess Natey thought we were just gonna let him chill at home alone and he told his dad: "Have a good day. Don't worry, I'll be brave..." HA!

Natey every other day: "How old are you now?"
Me: "25 still..."
Natey: "I think you're a thousand!"
-_-

Natey while eating an oatmeal cream pie: "These cookies don't make crumbs...Did you know that mom?"
Me: "Oh really, who told you that?"
Natey: "Myself."

Natey: "I have good news and bad news..."
Me: "What is it?"
Natey: "Nothing."
Me: "You shouldn't tell people you have bad news because it will make them sad or worried."
Natey: :blank stare: "Mom, I have good news and bad news..."
Me: "What did I just say?"
Natey: "The bad news is I can't find my stickers. The good news is I have my horsey."

While the husband is making his coffee...
Natey: (looking disgusted) "Are you putting eggs in your coffee?"
Dad: "No, it's coconut..."
Natey: "Ooooh, when did you go to the beach for that?"


One day I picked Nate up early from school because I had an early afternoon...
Nate's teacher: "Nate! Look who's here!"
Natey: "Mom?! What?!..."
You would have thought he won Publisher's Clearinghouse haha


One night I was getting Natey ready for bed and he coughed and then quietly said: "Bless me God"
Then he coughed again and said, "bless me God. Hallelujah!" (with appropriate praise hand raise)
Me: "What did you say?"
Natey: "I was talking to Jesus. We did that at Lita's church."



Hope we brought a smile to your Tuesday!

Things Little Nate Says

Me: Nate, what should we do today?
Nate: I think we should go to Target. And buy some Power Rangers and a Mega Zord.

After they handed us an empty bag to fill for the food drive at church:
Nate: What's that?
Me: Bags so we can put food in it to give to people with no food.
Nate: We should get one for uncle Jordan!
(Jordan is my brother at college in Indy who we always take food to. I cried.)

Nate: :clears throat:
Me: Nate, why do you do that?
Nate: I have allergies.

After he did this:

Yes, that is his Dad's iPad

"I know how I can fix it Daddy. I'll get a 'soft' tool!"

"Oh yeah baby! That's what I'm talking about!"

During our morning car ride prayer: "Let's pray for lots of people!"

Nate: "Hey Mom, you want to come watch me eat chips?"
Me: :laughing:
Nate: "You do. Come on, Mom..."

Last time I wore my curls: "Mommy you look kind of like a pretty clown..."

"Mommy/Daddy, you are not my friend!"

"I love you so much mom. I'm never going to let you down."

At some of our friends' house, overheard while our kids were in the basement
Their daughter (who is 6) to Nate: "Do you like Mitt Romney or Barack Obama? Mitt is the one with the white hair and Barack is kind of bald."
Nate: I like Barack Obama!
Their daughter: Me too.
:children continue to play: < HA!!! I love kids.

Go, Dog. Go! by P.D. Eastman is one of Nate's favorite books, and we have read it to him A LOT... Can you tell? LOL

Hope we brought a smile to your Monday!!

Things Little Nate Says...

Outside his new classroom 

When Nate turned 3 it seemed like he grew up overnight. No more pull-ups, no more long afternoon naps, no more stroller, no more toddler in our house. We have a big kid!

I'm going to have to re-name these posts, because :sniff sniff: my baby is growing up so fast...He started Pre-School a couple weeks ago and I cannot believe it! This has been the fastest 3 1/2 years of my life by far.

One thing hasn't changed though, he is still our comic relief. Here are some of the hilarious things he has been saying since he turned 3:

Interrupting his pediatrician (who knows I am in med school and was joking about me 'not being too busy'):
"My mommy is not busy. My daddy is busy."

One morning this past winter, I am embarrassed to admit that while chasing Nate on the driveway trying to get him in the car for school (it snowed the night before so he darted out to play in it), I fell FLAT on my back. Like - both feet in the air at the same time - flat on my back. Yea, OUCH. So after watching me wipe the snow off of my back and clothing. Nate could tell that he should just quietly get in the car, and he did. Then he turns to the stuffed puppy he brought in with him, puts his paws together and says: "Let's pray for Mommy."

After I got dressed for work:
Me: Nate does Mommy look pretty?
Nate: (very matter of factly) No, you don't have on a princess dress.

About to get out the car while it's raining:
"Mommy is Daddy going to carry you inside? If your hair gets wet will it be not nice?"
My 3 year old understands the rules of Black hair :fist pump: haha

Me: Nate before you can get any more new toys you have to pick some old toys to give to a little boy who doesn't have any toys.
Nate: (crying/yelling) No, that is NOT a good idea!

Story as translated from the Hubby when he picked him up from school: After he walked past staring at a girl that looked to be about 6, he turns to his dad and says, "She's cute Daddy!"

To my husband who was on the couch using his iPad (Nate calls it "White Game" because of the case it is in) and always wants to use it:
Nate: Daddy, go give mommy a kiss
:The hubby gets up to go kiss me in the other room:
Nate: Wait Daddy! :whispers: Leave white game.

Last Sunday the hubby was baptized and while we were watching Nate says: "I want to get baptized!"
Me: Ok, that is great! You can get baptized when you get older.
Natey: When I turn four, I am getting baptized Mommy, OK?

"I'm going to get ALLLL the sugar!" as he races his dad to kiss me first when they get home.


In the car on the way to school he was angry at me for not letting him stay home and play on the computer:
Nate: Mommy I don't want to love you! I don't like you!
Me: Ok. That's fine.
Nate: Can I see your phone?
Me: No, you don't love me or like me.
Nate: (while flashing a huge smile) Mommy, I do want to love you. I do want to like you.


Me: You cannot have another piece of bread until you finish your chicken.
Nate: If I get another piece will the police officer come and put me in jail?
Me: ....
(It's possible that could've worked in our favor but I didn't want to confuse him on the jurisdiction of the police force...)

When he gets told he cannot do something:
"You changed my words!! Never!" < o_O

And my personal favorite:
An unprovoked "Mommy, you're my bestfrannn. I love you so big much :kiss:" swoon

Painting in Art Class

Wordless Wednesday: My Little Dance Machine

Between this:

 

 and his "Shoulder Bounce"...

   

 This kid keeps me ROLLIN :-D Happy Wednesday!!

Happy MLK Jr. Day!

‎"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." - MLK Jr.

Growing up, my mom always taught us that this was a day ON and never "off". Even when our school did not recognize the day as a holiday, my mom would always keep us home to go to the DuSable Museum for their annual MLK Jr. Day celebration. In college, Michigan always had an awesome MLK Symposium with nationally renowned speakers - one of the many things I miss about undergrad...

I hope to pass this mindset on to Nathan. Today we had our lesson on who Martin Luther King, Jr. was and what he stood for - a very quick lesson to suit his attention span. I found a cool video that we watched together:

Me: "This is Martin Luther King, Junior"

Nate: :wide-eyed: "Ooooh Ok!"

Me: "He said that his dream was for all of God's children to be able to play together and be happy"

Nate: "I wanna have a dream!"

I hope you all are having a great day ON too!

Things My Toddler Says

At Grammy's house

While opening Christmas presents sealed tight:
"Give it to my daddy, he's strong as Hulk!"

His new favorite question: "Because why? Tell me!!!"

"Mommy, you're my buddy/favorite."

To his cousin Meg, who is a teacher, while she was quizzing him on letter sounds: "That's what the teacher says..."

Me: "Nate you are so :insert: helpful/smart/polite!"
Nate (matter-of-factly): You're welcome.

Me: "Nate it's time to go"
Nate: "Two seconds. I'm almost done..."

Me: "Nate it's time for bed..."
Nate: "I not tired. I just woke up!"


Me: "Nate it's time for a bath..."
Nate: "I don't take a bath. I not dirty..."

"WOW! That's amazing!"

"I don't care!" - This needs to stop like tomorrow.

"Stop kidding me!"

Nate walks up to me one morning when I have on shorts, touches my leg and says, "Mommy big leg?". The next day I wore pants and he goes "Where's mommy big leg?" o_x

Things My Toddler Says

Cheese!

"Shhhh Da, be quiet. I want to hear a mouse!" I assume he meant: "Be quiet as a mouse." LOL

"Come on MommyDaddy" (We're one unit)

While getting ready for church I put on my heels and he says, "Mommy pretty. Mommy a princess?" And I said "Thanks Nate!" and he looks at his dress shoes and says, "I a princess too!" LOL!

Grabbing his play stethoscope after I listened to his heart sounds with mine "Mommy, I want to play doctor too!"

"What's that mommy? Coffee? I want coffee too!"

:Whining while trying to put on his pants: I can't do it!!!
Me: Yes, you can. You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. (We usually say this in the car on the way to school like I did growing up. But I think this was the first time I said it to him while we were inside)
Nate: No can do all things in the house. Can do all things in the car!

"Help me! Ayudame" We can thank our friends Dora and Diego for that one...I didn't master commands until highschool haha

My car has been making funny noises, so they hubby has been driving it to work. First thing Nate says to me when he wakes up: "Daddy take your car?" o_O excuse me little boy why are you so grown...haha

"Da, I need choclick nilk..."

"Night Night Mommy. Sweet Dreams. I love you..."

:While begging him to put on his doctor costume so we could take pics:
"I DON'T WANNA BE A DOCTOR! I DON'T WANNNA BE A DOCTOR!!" Duly noted, kid...

My heart melts.

Wordless Wednesday: Tactile Fremitus

Backstory: Nate sat with me while I watched a video similar to the one below on the examination of the chest. After one viewing, he is now ready to practice :-)

Things My Toddler Says...

"I power ranger red!...Overdrive Samurai!!!" - Yes, he really says this...LOL

"I'll be riiiiight back." :as he's running out the room to get something:

After giving me a kiss on the cheek:
"Luu you babe."

:More Please! Thank you!: while doing the appropriate sign language

"It's not funny, mommy."

During football games when someone get's tackled: "Come ooooon! Let's doooo it!"

With arms crossed stomping off: "I Angry! I mad!"

"My phone-t" (And any other word with a soft vowel sound at the end, get's an extra "t")

Talking about his action figure:
Nate: "My guy!"
Me: "What did you name him?"
Nate: Matter of factly..."Guy."

Whining/Crying: "Mommy, I want chocolate nilk in a cup!"
Me: "Nate, you have to stop crying first."
Nate: (trying to break a smile through tears) "Mommy, I happy now..."

Picking him up from daycare all the other kids try and leave too. Before we left, Nate puts his hand in front of a boy trying to follow us out and sweetly says, "Not yet...not yet..." LOL!

He's REALLY into Dino Dan right now, so we frequently hear him talking about Spinosaurus, Brachiosaurus, Tyrannosaurus Rex...

Things My Toddler Says...

Offering me a snack: "Mommy have it? Yes?"
Translation: Do you want some mom?

"I luu you mommy" (in a dinosaur voice)

"I'm Nathan superman!"

"I'm bacon Nathan!" - insert any other thing he is doing/eating, and you see where this is going...

Anyone to Nate: "How are you?"

Nate: (holding up two fingers) "I'm two!"

When I'm taking pictures, if I tell him to say "ice cream!" his smiles are bigger, but now he says, "Ice cream cheese!" LOL

"Owww Mommy! I hit my head on the carpet!"

As told by his Da: Nate was playing with his toys while big Nate was on the couch, and he stops playing, runs over, gives him a big hug, and says, "Da, I happy!"

At the zoo last week, the baby monkey kept running away from it's mom. Nate's reaction in a VERY serious voice: "That monkey's in trouble! He no listen!"

Saturday he walked up to me and said, "Mommy, my name is Nathan Johnson" and just walked away. We've been working on this, and I am so proud!

Wordless Wednesday

Well, there are a few words here, but mostly just funny kids...

My little cousin Billy is the deepest kid I know (and he's 5), exhibit A.

"Abandoned hope"? LOL

And my little boo is the best dancer I know (but you knew this already lol), exhibit B.

Things My Toddler Says...

This should be called "Things My Toddler Sings" His new favorite show on Netflix is the Iron Man cartoon, and it's absolutely adorable when he sings because he never uses words like "mission" in his regular speech...LOL

Things My Toddler Says...

He keeps them coming ladies and gentlemen:

~"My bed!" Translation: Mommy, put the blanket on me!

~:pointing to snap on pants: "My belt!" Translation: Unbutton my pants!

~"Look Mommy!" :pause: "Look Mommy!"

~"I want choc-lit nilk" I want chocolate milk...

~"No puter Mommy" Get off the computer mommy...

~"Mooooom" Yea, he thinks he's grown now...hope he doesn't stop calling me mommy :tear:

~:one finger on lip very pensive: "Hmmm..."

~:in frustrated tone: "Chum on man! Chum on!!" Translation: Come on, man!


~~~~~~~~~~~

Things My Toddler Does:

All week my debit card has been missing - I absentmindedly (<--this word looks really awkward but spellcheck is letting it roll...) left it on the coffee table so this is totally my fault - and I had a feeling who may have gotten a hold of it so I wasn't worried. But imagine my surprise yesterday while carrying my MacBook and squirming toddler to the car, when my computer slipped off of the passenger seat onto the parking lot asphalt and an orange debit card slipped out from the CD drive slot...


Nate gets the "Samuel L. Jackson Side Eye" for that one.

Chum on, Man....

Happy Friday Everyone! Or in the words of this hilarious autocorrect fail:

T-G-I-Fibromyalgia!

Things My Toddler Says...

Since he and I will be able to spend a lot more time together...I have a feeling that he is going to have an abundance of hilarious things to say. And I figure every once in a while I am going to share them with you....

10. :Pointing to CHIN: "Ouch mommy, I hurt my CHIM!"

9. "Look mommy a toucan!" (he was pointing to a bird on TV and he was right)

8. "I want pizzas"
Translation: I want a slice of pizza.

7. :After giving him the look to let him know he's in trouble:
"No trouble mommy, no trouble..."

6. Thanks Mommy, Your Auusome!
Translation: Auusome = Awesome

5. If I am sitting next to him, and have the nerve to get distracted by something, he grabs my face and says:
"Look at me... Mommy, look at me"

4. "Sha baa Da!" Translation: Shut up Da...
o_O This is TOTALLY my fault and SOOO embarrassing because when the hubs and I are joking around I always end up telling him to shut up...so now Nate is trying too :-/ He hasn't done it in public yet...

3. :Holding Up Hand: Good Job Mommy/Da! High Five! High Five!

2. I'm told...
Translation: Told = Cold

1. (after Big Nate brings me and the lil one slurpees to the car)

Me: Thanks Baby.

Lil Nate: Hey Da...

Big Nate: Yes, Nae

Lil Nate: Thanks Baby.

Hope this brought a smile to your Monday morning...

Have a great Day!