Happy New Year & Happy MLK Day!

Happy New Year!

I hope you are all having a great day "on" to honor the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The kids and I are spending some cherished time together - sadly, Daddy Nate had to work today :-(

Despite the Carolina sunshine, absurdly warm climate down here, and the lovely week off during Christmas, the "winter slump" has not evaded me and I am feeling, yet again oh-so-run-down.

I went back to work the week of the New Year and was stationed on Labor and Delivery for the second half of our program's holiday schedule so that the rest of my coworkers could get their much needed vacation as well. The thought crossed my mind that we might not be so busy because it was still the holidays...HA!

Since then, I have been on my OB1 rotation which means I manage the laboring patients on the floor (you may remember when I was OB2 in October and was responsible for L&D procedures). I absolutely love obstetrics but I would be kidding myself if I didn't admit how mentally and physically exhausting my days are. I get up around 4:30 every morning and leave the hospital around 6:30PM each night. Some days definitely get to me more than others, but I am learning so much and still so thankful to be at UNC...

We even made the news last week!

The littles...

You are probably sick of reading this, but I am truly in awe of my children and how much they have grown. Natey was talking the other day about his bottle being "waterproof" and I thought to myself, "who is this kid?" He is so smart, polite, and kind. So proud of him...

Isabelle is definitely a girly girl. She loves to wear dresses, bows, and to have her hair blow dried (LOL). I'm thankful for those moments when she still wants to cuddle because the baby I feel like we just brought home is walking into her toddler-hood faster than I imagined.

Where does the time go?

I decided I wasn't going to make resolutions for the new year...well, mainly because January 1st came and went with me writing down nan-goal... BUT I have resolved to be more positive and I think the best way to do that is to focus on all of the blessings in my life. Being so consumed with work has definitely tipped the scales away from my spiritual and family time, and I feel a lot more grumpy than I have been over the last year, so that is the first thing that needs to go.

I am thankful that no matter how challenging the road ahead may be, I have been given the opportunity to walk it. I am thankful that years ago incredibly brave men and women fought for equality and never backed down - when degradation, violence, and even death were the cost - so that decades later, little Black girls and boys could dream one day of being doctors, lawyers, executives, or even presidents. THAT is vision.

The racially charged and tragic events surrounding the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and Eric Garner (to name a few, but sadly, not all) have discouraged many of us and raises questions of how far our country has really come when it comes to racial equality. It would be remiss of me to say that we don't have work to do, but I am hopeful of the future, and committed to doing my part to get us there. I know the vision of Dr. King is still alive and well.

Check Out My Interview on Pregnancy Perfect Today!

Happy Hump Day Peeps!!!

Please go check out my interview on Pregnancy Perfect today!

I loved chatting with the Pregnancy Perfect creator, Anabell Ingleton, about my experience(s) being preggers - during what she calls the "9 Month Marathon" (So cute! Right?!) I did this interview a few weeks before starting residency. It's so funny to hear me talk about my own pregnancy experience now that I have 6 months of OBGYN-ing behind me. I mean, I knew this already, but there is so much I didn't know...LOL

Anabell has created this awesome online space where future mommies-to-be can revel in the awesome highs and oh-so-relate-able lows of pregnancy. If you know any expectant moms out there, be sure to share with them the greatness that is Pregnancy Perfect!

Have an awesome day!

xoxo

Ultrasound Scans and Holiday Plans...

Is anyone else amazed at how fast this year has gone by?! This makes no sense.

Our Thanksgiving weekend was so nice. I mentioned in my last post that I was working on Thanksgiving day. That wasn't as sad as I thought it would be. The Labor and Delivery team stayed in the spirit throughout the day - including a mini feast hosted by the nurses. The workload was steady per usual, but things picked up quite a bit after most people had eaten their dinner...haha

My first block of nights is behind me and this month I am on an ultrasound rotation. It has been great to finally feel like I know how to do more than check for baby's position when I stick a probe on mommy's belly. This rotation is outpatient and primarily between the hours of 8am to 5pm so I also have time to read, see my family more than two days per week, and sleep. I even straightened up my house a little bit. It has been GLORIOUS.

Now that I am 6 month's into residency - GASP - I think I am starting to feel more like a doctor. I am more efficient with my time, more confident with my clinical decisions, and as a whole I can see myself growing. It is not perfect by any means, and I have a long way to go, but I am definitely the happiest I have been this year thus far. I think it is a combination of increased work-life integration and not feeling like I am constantly just treading water so that I can breathe. The last 6 months have been exhausting.....but now Christmas is herrrreeeee!

It is my absolute favorite holiday. The music, the smell of evergreen trees and cinnamon, the lights, the time with family, the message of baby Jesus all, make this the most wonderful time of the year...no pun intended ;-)

Of course, in true intern-fashion I am behind on all things related to my personal life including decorating the house, sending out cards, shopping for the family, and actual Christmas plans. Ah well... I am starting to just accept things like this, and a lot of what used to get to me, like cleaning, cooking, meeting deadlines, etc. does not drive me crazy anymore. I could see how this may not be such a good coping skill in the long run, but we'll go with it for now LOL

Hopefully I can knock some more items off of my most dynamic to-do list today because I am working tomorrow. If not, it will all get done at some point ;-)

P.S. This whole December-without-Snow thing is so weird but AMAZING!

Well Hello November...

Hey Friends,

I cannot believe it is November! October was topped off with a much-anticipated vacation week. I was determined to make it both productive and restful, but I realized on day one, that what I needed the most was rest. So, once I accepted that all the extraneous stuff I was so worried about getting done, may not get done all in one week, but would get done eventually, it made doing absolutely nothing during the day easier to handle. Sort of.

I know it sounds ridiculous that I had to accept "doing nothing" as a goal - or lack thereof. My "do nothing" this week also included morning kindergarten drop offs, time with Isabelle during the day, cleaning, laundry, random appointments, cooking (occasionally), and squeezing that all in before afternoon pick up. Big Nate was on B-shift all week so the evenings were just me and the babies.

We did a lot of this:  

By Thursday, I kind of like my old self was finally surfacing from the fog of tiredness, mommy guilt, and mental fatigue. And on Friday I indulged in some much-needed self-care. Never a good sign when your hair dresser calls you out for not combing your hair in between appointments. I know...But if you only knew....This mommy-intern life if not for the weak.

I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about over my vacation all week. I thought about a daily post to narrate my return to normalcy...I thought a recap of life since my last post - four to five weeks ago... But honestly, I have felt so drained all week [read the past few months] the thought of writing anything made me just shirk at the thought of adding one more thing – albeit volitional – to my to-do list. So, now with just a half a day left between myself and returning to the madness that is intern year, I think I am ready for some reflection.

On residency...

I just finished my OB2 rotation, which is 3-4 weeks of being the procedure intern on the labor and delivery floor. It was pretty cool to just have to do the c-sections, because repetition is the best way to improve surgical skills. I am definitely leaps and bounds ahead of where I was when I did my first section in July...

Tonight I start a three-week stretch of nights. Our nights rotation is 6 days for interns – Sunday through Friday. Monday through Thursday nights starts around 5:30PM. On Friday and Sunday it starts at 8PM. I’m not going to see much of the fam during the week since I will be coming and going while everyone is at work and school. I’m hoping that they pay me a few visits while I’m living the nightlife. I’m excited to work with my nights team, they are determined to make it a fun next few weeks with themed dinner party nights included.

Most days I am so thankful for this life that I have been given and this dream that I have been blessed to pursue. But some days have been guilt ridden and filled with questions of what I am doing to my family and myself.  I'm sure I am just going through what all working moms/wives go through. I haven't been leaning on my faith as much as I should. I realize that I have been so focused on not having enough hours in the day, I have forgotten to trust in the Creator of time...

We also start interviewing for next year's residency class this month. I cannot believe one year ago that was me!

On the littles...

My big boy!

Natey

- Lost another tooth!I think that brings us to 6 in total

- Was the cutest Optimus Prime for Halloween

- Got an "otustanding" on his first report card

- Ties his own shoes

- Loves to show us what he is learning to spell, add, read, etc. in school 

- Continues to be wise beyond his years. His favorite thing to say right now is, "actually..."

Isabelle

- Loves to give kisses to her family, her stuffed animals, characters in her books..

- Grew 2 inches in 3 months!

- Keeps popping out teeth! Shes up to 10

- Understands things we ask her to do like pick up books, toys, socks, etc. 

- Tries lots of new sounds and I know she will be talking our ears off soon enough

- Starts to try and throw tantrums when things don't go her way

In October Uncle Jordan's team played in NC!

 

Outside of that, we are loving our first Carolina fall. So beautiful and so much warmer than the Midwest :-) Did you peep the lack of coats on October 31st?!

Hope you all are well! xoxo

Exhausted but Thankful...

Tomorrow starts my last run of nights for this rotation. I only have TEN days left in this block!! But who's counting ;-)

Some time along the way last week I delivered my 100th baby and I am currently savoring the last hours of my second day off in a row. The term "golden weekend" was referenced many times as I interviewed for residency and I now know how truly precious the time is. Hours worth their weight in gold...sheesh.

I am going to make an increased effort to get back to practicing gratitude and finding joy in every exhausting day. So here are a few things I am thankful for....

1. For the littles, who are wonderful and thriving.

2.  For their daddy who has been an amazing support for all of us. And also, who takes so many pictures of their daily adventures so I don't feel so left out...

3. For days off.

4. For coffee.

5. For sleep. Man, do I love my sleep...

6. For all my loved ones and friends who always check in on me even when they know I probably won't respond in a timely manner...Sorry everyone!

7. For my great coworkers, who are quickly becoming great friends...

Lowe's Build & Grow

Being pushed around on a tricycle

Have a great week!

Status Check...

Every time I sit down to write a post, I realize I would rather be playing with the kids...or sleeping.

But alas, I don't want to abandon my one hobby (lol), so here are some quick updates...

I am halfway done with my second block and I have delivered over 50 babies in four weeks. 

This includes a handful of c-sections as primary surgeon. Which feels pretty amazing!

The hours are bananas and I am SO tired. Like all. the. time. *yawn*

The children are wonderful. 

Natey started Kindergarten in mid-August. And he has since then lost both of his front teeth. I cannot deal with all this big kid stuff! What a difference a year makes...

Isabelle has developed a very independent and sassy personality. You can find her walking around the house pretending to talk on the phone, playing with her brother's toys, or standing in the window spying on the neighbors... 

I am still trying to find my balance in our new, intensely fast-paced life. It's so hard being away from the littles so much, but we are taking it a day at a time and trying to make the best of it. 

Thank you everyone for your prayers, emails, calls, texts, and posts checking on me. All of your love means so much, and I am going to do my best to post more regularly!

Checking in!

Well, I knew blogging during intern year would be a bit more difficult than medical school... However, I did not think that aiming for at least a bi-weekly post would be a feat.

I have never worked this hard in my life.

The Gyn-Oncology service is so busy and my team and I are hustling ALL. DAY. LONG. Last week Natey sweetly asked me if I felt like I lived at the hospital :tear: Yes, yes I do...

Despite the exhaustion, despite still getting used to this "Dr. Johnson" thing, taking care of patients has been awesome. Being called to the bedside of a critically ill patient is humbling to say the least. I have a wonderful team and co-residents to lean on, and every day I feel more capable and confident than the next. In addition to being the so-lovingly-called "onc intern", I've completed two rounds of my very own OBGYN continuity clinic. And I've delivered four babies on my call shifts - two vaginal deliveries and two c-sections. The learning curve has been steep and I know God has been with me every challenging step of the way. 

In Johnson fam news...

Thursday our baby girl turned 1!!! I was forewarned that Thursday would also be a late day for our team, so we decided to celebrate early. I had planned to do this adorable pinterest-style princess party with our friends this weekend, but it was a crazy week, and by the time I got off on Friday night, nothing had been planned so it didn't work out. I was OK with that in the moment - hopefully my mommy guilt lets me live in peace with that decision :sigh:

I cannot believe Isabelle has been in our lives for a whole year. She stole our hearts from day one and it is a joy to watch her continue to blossom into a beautiful little lady.

Natey is savoring the last month of his summer doing big kid things like learning to ride without training wheels, hanging out at the pool with dad, and his usual "ninja training"...LOL I cannot believe it is almost back to school time, this summer has flown by. Kindergarten in less than a month!

The hubs is kicking butt at managing work and primary kid-duty. I had no doubts. I try and contribute as much as I can. So far it means having croc-pot meals waiting on them when they get home, and swooping in just in time to handle baths and bedtime. I'm determined to master the mom-tern life (Mom + Intern = Mom-tern. Yes, I just made that a thing...so fetch, right?) And even though we haven't had any official date nights, he and I are doing a great job of being cognizant of each other's love tanks. 

Life is busier than its ever been. It is not easy, but it's doable. I am so thankful for the beautiful grace He's given us to make it through each day.