The Mrs. The Mommy. The M.D.: The Working {Outside the Home} Mom War Rages on...
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Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Working {Outside the Home} Mom War Rages on...

**Made a few addendums to this post because I don't want you to think that I feel mom's who stay at home aren't working too. Definitely not the case. But this research was focused on the children of mothers who worked outside of the home, compared to those whose mothers remained home with them. Ok, carry on.** 

During exam weeks I always have a HUGE case of Mommy Guilt.

I would only see my child for maybe two hours a day - getting him ready and taking him to school in the morning. I know he misses me, but I always wonder if he is angry that I am gone all the time, or thinks that I would rather be at school instead of at home with him. The thought of this makes me want to cry.

WebMD ran an article back in July basically saying, "rest assured Moms, your kids won't have any major behavior problems because you work outside the home." You can read the article on the study done by the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health in it's entirety here.

It never even crossed my mind that Nate could have long-term behavior problems because of my absence. My mom worked out of the home up until my youngest brother was born and then she stayed home, so I got both experiences and I think we all turned out fine - in fact, quite excellent haha...

Even though we working {outside the home} moms continue to tell ourselves that working outside the home isn't short-changing our child, it was a refreshing change to hear someone else saying it. A completely different message than the New York Times article in which one mother and physician slaps us with the notion that we can't have it all.

The article asserts something that is kind of common sense - that a big part of your child's success is taking the time to find a good caregiver...Oh ok.

But it concludes with this:
In fact, "parents who do the best job are the ones who have interests outside of children, and working is certainly one of these interests," she says. "If you need to work or want to work, guilt is a wasted emotion."
I think that point is HUGE. Whether you work outside the home or not, moms need to have a life/identity outside of their children. This ensures that they are fulfilled and happy. And a happy mom is a better mom for her kids.

Moms, did you read this article? What do you think? Should we even still be talking about this, let alone doing/funding research on it?
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